Free time for moms-what is that?

I heard a news report today that made me stop and question what a so called expert said about stay at home moms having 30 to 40 hours of free time a week. What!!!!  I heard the headline and immediately stopped in my tracks for the 30 seconds I had to stop what I was doing. A Time-use researcher named John Robinson (okay first what is a “time-use researcher" and can I please have that job if I can find the time) has published a study which claims that mothers have 30 to 40 hours of free/leisure time a week and that mothers aren’t doing nearly as much in the home and in childrearing that they did 20 years ago.  To further even more moms yelling at him Robinson claims that mothers and fathers have nearly equal workloads while mothers have more leisure time.  Let me start by reminding my readers that I love being a wife and mother. It is the best thing that I have ever done or ever will do in my life. But as I heard this story reported on the radio this morning I had just finished dropping my child off at preschool, starting laundry, going to the grocery store, running about 4 errands for my family, picking my child up at preschool, doing another load of laundry, dusting, vacuuming, planning school activities for my child, doing team parent responsibilities for my child’s sports team, and planning dinner all before noon.  As I am writing this blog I am getting interrupted by my child asking me to play with them after just taking them to the playground and playing sports outside with them for an hour.  At the same time I am prepping dinner and oh by the way the dryer and washer just signaled that they are both done so I have to go take care of my family’s laundry.   After I fold and sort I then need to prepare a well balanced dinner for my family, do the dishes and then around 10:00 pm I may be able to sit down.  Again I am not saying this to complain about my life-I love my life and would not change a thing about it.  When I was working full-time before we had children I started my day at 8 ended it around 6 and went home.  A mother does not have a time clock.  From the time a mother stay at home or not gets up to the time she falls asleep and only if one of her children sleeps through the night a mother is working.  My husband has a very demanding job and works long hours and I am so fortunate that he finds the energy because of his love of our family to help when he gets home at night but my day at as a mom does not end.  Mom’s do not get sick time, lunch breaks, vacation time.  Being a mother is a full time 24 hour a day 7 day a week job and it is the best most important job in the world in my opinion.  That is why it infuriates me when a “time use researcher” puts these fallacies for lack of a better word out as facts because until someone walks in a mother’s shoes do not judge how a mother spends her time.  I tried to think of how Robinson came up with his conclusions but to be honest I do not have the time to prove him wrong.  I just looked at the clock and I have about 10 minutes to fold laundry before I have to make dinner.  I had better run-I just used 3 minutes of my 30-40 hours of leisure time!

Sometimes It is Hard To Be a Mom.

Hello to my Daily Mommy News Friends.  I am going to be very honest and open today about being a mom.  First of all let me please say I absolutely love being a mom.  Being a mom was the best thing other than my husband that has ever happened to me.  I love my child more than life itself and would give my life for them in a heartbeat.  That being said being a mom is not easy.  There are thousands of books out there and even more people who want to give you advice on being a mom. But what all of those books and well meaning people need to understand is that motherhood cannot come with an instruction manual because all children are different.  It more than frustrates me when I hear moms go on and on about how perfectly behaved their child is because lets be honest please-no child is perfect.  When I hear these moms go on and on it also makes me doubt my abilities as a mom when I am having a bad day and just want another mom to listen not compare my child to theirs.  Overall my child is good but my child and I have been having a test of wills for a few weeks now and I find myself screaming more than I would like and already at their very young age my child is portraying me as the bad guy while they portray my husband as the perfect parent.  Just last night for example I found my husband fixing a toy and when I asked him why he was doing that he told me although he doubted my child’s statement he was told by our child that I had refused to fix it which in reality I was never asked to fix the toy nor did I know that it was broken.  I am already getting pre- teenage responses from a child whose age is in the single digits.  Everything seems to be a battle and I get up each day just trying to spend time with my young child knowing those moments are precious and that someday that they will not want to spend time with me. I start each day with a positive attitude but by breakfast after battling with just a small window of time before school to have my child eat, get dressed etc I already am frustrated.  I keep trying and trying to have patience but also I know that during these formative years my job is to be a parent and teach my child right from wrong so sometimes I admittedly overreact but it is so hard to find the balance between ignoring and disciplining.  This morning I reflected on my childhood to see what my mom did with me hoping with reflection on myself I could find some guidance because unfortunately my mom passed away so I cannot ask her.  I keep trying everything to make myself a better mom and feel like each day I try but lately have been failing miserably.  I want my child to be well behaved but I also want my child to enjoy being around me.  My mom was my best friend and I want my child to say that when she is my age.  So what I am trying to say is the next time a fellow mom asks you for advice please do not positively spin your advice.  Please be honest and admit your failures and frustrations because although we all love being a mom sometimes it is very hard to be a mom.  That is not a negative statement-it is an honest one.

Mommy Friendly Recipe-Year Round Barbequed Steak on the Stove!

Hi to my Daily Mommy News Friends!  I wanted to share the recipe below with you for steak which you can cook on the stove.  The recipe is great and very easy!  I love steak on the barbeque but that is difficult to do year around with the cold weather and rain.  We recently went out to dinner and ordered steak and unfortunately it has not been good at 2 different restaurants.  My husband planned to barbeque steak this past weekend but unfortunately our barbeque needs repaired so I used the recipe below which I have used about a dozen times and it has turned out great!  Many of my friends have asked me for it when my husband raves about how well I cook a steak on the stove (thanks to my husband for the compliment) so I wanted to share it with you.  I found the recipe online about a year ago on a steak enthusiast website and when I have used it my steaks have always turned out great!  I use New York Strip steaks and you can find 4 large New York Strip steaks at a reasonable price at Costco for much less than you would pay for a steak when you go out to a restaurant.  After our bad steak experiences at restaurants lately my husband says he will not have steak at another restaurant after I used the recipe below this past Sunday.

Enjoy!

Barbequed Steak on the Stove!

Ingredients

Olive Oil-I use Olive for the healthiness but vegetable oil would be fine too

Red Wine

Garlic

Lawry’s Seasoning Salt

Pepper

Worcestershire sauce

Garlic Salt

Your favorite steak-I use New York Strip Steaks but any Steak will do

Large deep non-stick skillet

Aluminum Foil

Directions

Marinate your steaks in Red Wine, Fresh Garlic or Garlic Powder and Worcestershire sauce for as long as possible. Bring your steaks to room temperature.  The cooking times given are for steaks about 1inch to 1 ¼ inches thick.

Heat your skillet over medium-high heat until very hot, and then add enough oil to cover the bottom of your pan to a depth about one-quarter of an inch. When the oil begins to smoke put your steaks in the pan about one-half inch apart.  Once they are in the pan let them cook until you can pick up the steak easily with a rubber spatula (about 3 minutes). An easy way to test is to see if the steak moves easily in the pan.  If they do not move easily wait a little longer. Then flip the steak and cook it 3 minutes more on the uncooked side. For medium rare steaks then turn the heat down to medium and flip them over to the seared side first.  Cook about 4 to 5 minutes and then flip the steak and cook 4 to 5 minutes on the other side.  Remove from the pan and place on a plate and cover with aluminum foil and let sit 10 minutes before serving.

Daily Mommy News-Don’t Get Ripped Off!

I taught my child a lesson this afternoon and I wanted to also share the lesson with you in the hopes that you will avoid something that has happened to me on more than one occasion but today happened not once but three times at three separate stores and that was getting overcharged for items that I purchased or in my young child’s words “mommy you almost got ripped off!”

I am an extremely careful shopper all of the time but especially now in these uncertain economic times.  If the recession is over I have not seen evidence that it is.  So I went to 3 stores today-2 of which are large national chains that everyone claims are discount stores whose goal is to “save you money.”  I will not mention the names of the stores but trust me the stores I went to do not have saving us money as a true goal.  Last week I went to one of these national stores to buy an item and when I went to check out the item came up over 50 percent more than the price stated on the shelf.  I saw that as I was checking out and let the employee know that immediately whose response was “well that is what the computer said so that is the price.”  Wow-really, was this a response that you should give a customer-I do not think so!  So I asked for a price check and after waiting 5 minutes (I watched the time on my watch) the store employee sauntered back and said “give it to her, the price in the computer is wrong.”  No apology, no nothing just a begrudging “give it to her.”

Well reluctantly I went back to that same large store today, not because I wanted to but because I knew what I had to purchase was less there.  I had 5 items to get and knew that unfortunately the best place to buy them was there.  Again I did not want to go there but I wanted to save money.  So I went to check out and and all 5 items came up in the computer 25 percent higher than the price on the shelf!  Again I asked for a price check and got the same negative attitude and the last thing I wanted to do was wait especially with a tired and hungry child.  Yet again the employee came back after doing a price check and said the price on the computer was wrong and I was right!  Wow!  So I continued my marathon errand day and went to that store’s competition to get one item.

Upon reaching the other large name store to get my one item I checked out and looked at my receipt.  Not again.  I dreaded going to challenge this receipt as much as a root canal after dealing with it at the other store less than 20 minutes earlier.  But I did-what is right is right especially with my money.  Sure enough-the computer was wrong and they had not changed the sale price yet so my receipt was wrong-again!! So after winning yet another price fight I headed to my favorite grocery store.

As moms lets be honest we all dread going to the grocery store with our children.  In fact I ran into a friend of mine there who was without her children and she looked like a kid on Christmas morning and even told me she was having such a wonderful time grocery shopping by herself.  I understood the excitement in her voice and although she was talking about grocery shopping her excitement level was like she was at the spa!  So I quickly shopped and checked out and looked at my receipt and in incredible disbelief saw that an item that was on my receipt had been charged twice when I only bought one item.  Again I went to customer service and at this store if they do that they give you the item for free but even the customer service person said “this has been happening a lot.”

So in less than 3 hours I was overcharged at 3 separate stores-all large chains.  I was the one who noticed the overcharging by watching the computer cash register check me out and also instantly looking at my receipt.  As moms we all know how hard this is to do when you have a child in melt down mode as my child was today when I would not give them the free cookie they wanted from the bakery because they had not eaten well today.  But saving money is important and unlike the motto of the stores I was in they proved not only today but also on previous occasions where this has happened to me at least a dozen times that the price you think you are paying is not always the price that you are paying.  So check your receipts and as my young child told me today “mama nobody rips you off!”